by Wei Yun
Because she knew that she could untag the photographs, shred the love notes, delete every message in her inbox. She could throw out the dried flowers and wash her hands clean, hell, she could drop them in hydrochloric acid if she so wished because at that point all she wanted to do was just forget it all. But the one thing that she couldn’t ever do was erase the memories that they had left behind.
She could never erase his smile. His laugh. The way he wrapped his arms around her and called her by her full name. And as she watched almost everything the two of them had shared together go up in flames, red and yellow and shades of gold, she wrapped the scarf he had given her tighter around her neck, taking in a deep breath of its smell. Inhaling deeply, she felt the light scent of charcoal intertwine with her citrus perfume, and she let out a laugh.
Scarf around her neck? More like a noose. Her noose, gripping at her throat, strangling her slowly with every step she took towards her door. But she was a fighter, and this jolly hangman wasn’t going to fucking have her spirit without a damn good fight. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Because no matter what he did, no matter how many people broke down her faith, she was still a living, breathing human being. And every time she breathed, every time she took in his scent, she was going to make herself smell him, remember him, look at what he had done to her and spit in his fucking face, to do it so many times until she was numb to it all. To go on laughing, go on living, go on breathing, until the cracks in her window were patched over once again, the tinted glass looked perfect and nothing hurt.
And each time she felt that pang in her chest and the metaphorical knife stab her in the back, she would wear it a little tighter, to remind herself that life went on, she still had emotions, and that she would eventually bounce back once again. He wasn’t the first person that she’d let in, he wouldn’t be the last, and even though he was definitely one of two she could block him out just like that. She slammed the key into the lock, opened the door. Took a step into the outside world. Gritted her teeth.
And slammed the gates of her house shut.
Picking up the pace, she started running, running at full speed towards the train station that would take her to school, to a land of people who all had no idea what had just gone down. And nothing had; because from that day on, he would mean nothing to her, and she would do anything in her power to make him pay. The dark-haired girl narrowed her eyes, and gritted her teeth.
Because friendship wasn’t going to kill her. Love wasn’t going to kill her. And no matter how much it ached, nothing and no one would end her one-woman battle against the world.
Wei Yun Lim is a stressed out law student studying in the UK. Her passions include reading, writing, chocolate and the colour orange.
Image taken from here.