I'm ashamed to say I was a bully when i was in primary school. When i recall back those moment when i was making fun of the girl in my class, i feel regretted and was angry how foolish and childish i am (in fact i'm a child last time). And yes I'm a girl, you can say i'm ganas or wat.
When i was in standard 1, I remember i bullied a girl. She's very inferior and introvert girl. She doesnt talk to others. My friends and I make use of her weakness and bullied her by saying bad words to her. She did not do anything to us, or even report to the teachers. She bore with it. I remember we laughed at her, teased her and make fun of her. I did not know would this gain satisfaction for me, but seriously when i recall this issue, i would feel really regret, no other thing can replace my remorse towards that girl. And yes, i was 7. What i did may result in serious consequences on her, maybe causing her unwilling to go to school again or serious depression. How childish and unthoughtful i am. We were not in the same class in year 2. Don't know how she is now.
I was a teacher's kid, a No.1 in class student, a good girl in front of teachers, that's why i was selected to become a prefect in year 2. And thank god i was chosen to be a prefect. Being a prefect taught me how to be a student's leader, how to be more matured, how to lead others, how to become a role model for others, how to treat others well regardless their personalities. I started to feel sorry for that girl in year 2, but didnt get to see her. Maybe she's hiding from me? There's just no chance for me to say sorry to her again.
I was a good student until standard 6. Again, i dunno how she triggered my interest on bully. She was a good student, and she straight away transferred from a normal class to the first class. Maybe i was jealous? I don't know. My friends and i again, made fun for her, teased her and even changed the song lyrics to something about her and sing at her. OMG I'M SO EVIL! She didnt even angry at us, maybe she's angry but she didnt show it on her face. I remember i was happy bullying at her that time. But some how, when i know she's going to the same secondary school as I am, i stunned. How am I gonna face this girl for the next 5 years. And i realised my faults. I did not say sorry to her, i couldnt spit that word out. I started to treat her better, try to know more about her, and joined the same club as hers. But some how, whenever i see her face, i would still remember the things i've done to her. She's also an introvert girl. She doesnt have many friends though. After starting to know more about her, we were friends in the secondary school. But after some separation coz not in the same class, we got apart but still remain as hi-bye friend. I was happy because i managed to turn some1 i bullied last time as my friend. And i realised my faults.
In a big secondary school, I meet friends around KL and selangor. All the elite ones are in my school, i'm not one of the best anymore. And I become humble. Probably i'm fierce or tall, i've never faced anymore bully in my secondary school life. I love my secondary school life, everyone is my friend. I dont do bully anymore, maybe my mentality has been more matured when i enter secondary school. But i see many bullying cases happening in school everyday. Although it's just some minor bully, this could cause big impact on those being bullied. Like last two years of my high school, there's a girl in my class who're introvert and she has a weird personality. Yes, no joke. She's stressed up, attend tuition almost everyday and she behaves weirdly. She's not good-looking, she's fat, her handwriting is ugly, she has an imaginary friend. I do approach her to know more about her and try to be friends. But whenever i see or hear someone bullies her, i did not dare to stand up and point at them because I WAS A BULLY TOO. Another reason is because the bullies are my friends. I dont want to lose this friend because of that friend, i remained silent.
Until, last half year before spm. She acted very weird! She would cry suddenly, non-stop. Her mum took her home during school time very often. She's on medication. Teachers also paid extra attention to her. No one knows what happened to her as she doesnt want anyone to know about it. But from these symptoms, it's very obvious. I didnt know what has caused her to be resulted like this. Probably peer pressure, spm pressure or what. But i do believe the bully is part of the reason. She got tired easily because on medication. She cried non stop because she cant control it. She acts weirdly because she's dunno wat's right or wrong. She just need someone there to point it out for her.
So BULLIES out there, you dont know how serious the consequences is when you're gaining satisfaction or happiness from the person u bullied. You could gain short term satisfaction, but the person who was bullied gains long term trauma. Be in their shoe and you'll know how bad it feels, how hopeless they are and how arrogant you're acting. Me myself was a bully last time, and i was really regretted. You don't like the person, you can choose not to talk to him/her. But dont express you dislike with words at that person, you will just be hurting another innocent person.