Originally Posted by dmahitler
The following contains pseudo-philosophical emotional rants, but the end of the passage you will find that I am a fool --
Why is life so difficult? I've spent 21 years of my life pursuing greatness - I've studied hard, actively participated in extracurricular activities, indulged myself in various sports - thinking that all of these things will make me happy. After SPM, I won a scholarship, and after that I defied all odds by securing a place at an elite college in the USA. College life is absolutely amazing, it has far surpassed any prior expectations I have of America - school's good and my future career path seems awesome. I recognize the fact that I'm an extremely lucky person, and that a lot of people would want to be where I am now. I thought that by now, I'd be happy. But I'm not happy. Someone from the past still haunts me, and I miss that person very much. I just can't forget that person. I realize that this sounds incredibly stupid to you right now. A smart person will never let his/her emotions get in the way - right? My life is going great, why should I let one person ruin it? It doesn't make sense to me. Am I just a hopeless idiot?
We like to think that we are masters of our own emotions, but that is rarely true. Your emotions are a central part of your being, and it is extremely hard, if not impossible, to ignore them entirely.
It's alright to have emotions. Just be sure to balance it out with a good dose of common sense. Being smart has nothing to do with it; what matters is experience, and knowing how to rein in a restless heart when you have to. Following my heart has led to several mistakes in my earlier days, and while they are painful, these experiences have also taught me well, making me more aware and thus in control of matters of the heart.
Perhaps you'll forget about this someone when you meet another someone who sweeps you off your feet. But until then, just live your life. Hangout with friends. Do things that make you happy. Don't dwell on the past. Getting over someone is hard at first, but after a while, you'll realise that you're thinking less and less of that person, and soon, nothing at all. I went through that. Took me a good part of 5 months, but I got over it. So will you, so don't give up and call yourself hopeless just yet. Many times in the past, I have felt exactly the same way, but it passes.
What I can say is, you won't be the first person to do something stupid because of your heart. It happens, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Just learn from the experience, and be stronger next time.